


or something

by nimdlez



Series: johnjae snippets [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Slice of Life, i miss johnjae, word vomit alert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimdlez/pseuds/nimdlez
Summary: “I’m serious! This article says sometimes when you’re scared, you can mistake those feelings for love or something.”“Or something.”“I swear, it’s called, uh…mistranslation of approval?”Johnny looks over at Mark’s phone.“You mean misattribution of arousal?”“Same thing.”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: johnjae snippets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698157
Comments: 12
Kudos: 89





	or something

**Author's Note:**

> johnjae makes me soft  
> (i haven't written a fic in 2 years oof)

It begins with Mark, as it always does. Johnny is sitting on the couch in the living room, idly minding his own business while Mark chatters away next to his ear. The other was talking about aliens or dinosaurs, or maybe dinosaur aliens, who knows? Johnny certainly didn’t. He rarely listens to what Mark says during these times of day. The only useful bits of information he’s retained is limited to random animal trivia and facts pertaining to obscure historical events. It’s become routine for them to lounge around on their days off while Mark surfs the web and prattles about nonsense with Johnny occasionally listening in every five minutes or so. Five minutes is generous even. 

“Hey, did you know you can like, fall in love because you’re scared?” Johnny looks up and Mark is intently scrolling through his phone, brows scrunched in concentration. The way Mark’s hair falls over his face makes him look even younger than he is, and Johnny can’t help but reach a hand up and press them into the folds of Mark’s brows.

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep that up” Mark swats the other’s hand away and Johnny laughs. Cute.

“I’m serious! This article says sometimes when you’re scared, you can mistake those feelings for love or something.”

“Or something.”

“I swear, it’s called, uh…mistranslation or approval?”

Johnny looks over at Mark’s phone.

“You mean misattribution of arousal?”

“Same thing.”

Johnny rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch just as the front door opens, in walking Jaehyun returning from a visit from the gym. He has headphones on and is nodding his head back and forth, clearly in his own world. Mark throwing a hand up in greeting from the corner of the room gets Jaehyun to look up, smile at both Mark and Johnny, and disappear into his room as quickly as he had appeared. Ever since NCT Night Night had ended, Johnny hadn’t been able to talk to Jaehyun as much as he’d liked, which was a shame. He missed the low humming static from their radio mics and he missed getting to interact with people he normally wouldn't have. He missed the way Jaehyun reads viewer stories and he missed the pictures they would take together to show off to their fans. Their late-night conversations were some of his favorite memories and he missed Jaehyun’s calming presence. Lately, he'd been stewing over how the other seemed to be avoiding him where he hadn't been before. In the music show waiting rooms when Johnny slides an arm around his shoulder, when they brush against each other in the kitchen, and when their fingers meet when they pass over a plate. Unconsciously, his mouth turns to a frown.

“Is something wrong?” Johnny can tell Mark is reading into this much too closely as he always does, and so he waves his hand in dismissal, but Mark doesn’t quit (as always). “Jaehyun came in, went to his room, and then you looked sad. It’s not so hard to figure out why.”

“Yeah, I’m sad Jaehyun didn’t come over to bless us with his presence, oh what ever will I do without him?” Johnny fans himself with his hand for extra dramatic flair and Mark snorts.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you miss him or something.”

“Or something.”

They banter for a little more and Johnny’s thoughts about Jaehyun quickly dissipate.  
.

It’s Sunday and they have the entire day to themselves. This time, Jaehyun has joined them in the living room in lieu of his regular gym appearance, and so Mark and Johnny graciously welcome him into their regular routine. Johnny even lets him take the couch. He can tell Jaehyun had tried to be polite enough to listen to the first 15 minutes or so of random headlines, but somewhere between “Pluto: The Final Frontier” and “Is our Future in Veganism?” he retires his attention back to his phone and Johnny can’t blame him. He had stopped paying attention as soon as Mark started. He shoots Jaehyun a sympathetic smile and the younger returns it with his own.

“Are you guys even listening to me or are you too busy smiling at each other?” The quip earns Mark a playful push from Johnny and makes Jaehyun chuckle.

“Sorry Mark, what were you saying?” Johnny thinks the way Jaehyun puts his hand under his chin and focuses on Mark is endearing.

“As I was saying! I think we should give this thing a try. This whole fear love thing.”

“Fear love thing?” Jaehyun wrinkles his nose and Johnny has to resist the urge to pinch his cheeks. Steel yourself Suh. 

“Yeah, it’s like where if you get scared you might think the fear is you being aroused by someone you’re with and...Johnny isn’t even listening to me.”

“I’m listening Mark, arousal or something.”

“So, I propose we all go get scared by something and see what happens after.” 

“Like Jaehyun would ever agree to something so dumb, right Jaehyun?” Johnny looks over and the younger is pursing his lips as if he was contemplating this ridiculous idea.

“I mean I’d give it a try.” Johnny almost does a spit take. 

This is all Mark needs for affirmation as he excitedly starts rambling about what they could do and how they could do it. His excitement eventually sweeps Jaehyun and Johnny along and they begin tentatively throwing in ideas for this alleged social experiment. They run into several speedbumps outright. Horror movies would be too simple and they all agreed scaring each other was elementary. There aren’t any haunted houses open at this time of year and they rule out anything potentially dangerous, or else Taeyong would end them and the idea right then and there. This means Johnny convincing Mark that crossing an old and dilapidated bridge was in fact, a potentially dangerous idea.

“Holding a venomous snake.”

“No.”

“Skydiving.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why do you keep shooting down my awesome ideas?” Mark and Johnny continue bickering back and forth before Jaehyun throws an idea in.

“How about going into the forest at night?”

They all pause and consider the idea. Sure, it was a cliché as old as time, but it would work. They agree to execute their plan on their next free night, with Johnny “borrowing” a manager’s car so as to not arouse suspicion. After solemnly swearing to not flake, the trio all shake hands on their newfound agreement and return to their previous activities of doing nothing. Except Johnny is having a hard time concentrating on his phone at the thought of being in a forest alone with Jaehyun. Oh wait, Mark would be there too.  
.

Johnny is standing at the edge of the forest, redialing Mark for like the ninth time. The youngest had a sudden schedule pop up that day, but he had promised both Johnny and Jaehyun he would be finished with the schedule by the time night fell. Now it was looking like that wouldn’t be the case, which left both Johnny and Jaehyun standing here like fools with flashlights in their hands. None of the other members thought the idea was as novel as they did, and so the rest of them chose to not partake in their little excursion. All they got was a few laughs and Taeyong making them swear up and down to come back unscathed. Mark finally picks up the phone.

“Where are you?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I don’t think I’ll get back in time to go with you guys.” Somehow the apology doesn’t feel genuine because he can hear Mark snickering at the same time, and was that Haechan's muffled laughter in the background?

"You never even told me what schedule you had"

"Uh...a photoshoot?" Mark's hesitation tells Johnny all he needs to know. 

“Well me and Jaehyun can go back since this was all your idea in the first place.”

“What? No! You guys are already there so you should just do it and tell me how it goes.”

“I don’t know…” Johnny casts a sidelong glance at Jaehyun who is just sitting on a rock a few feet away, bundled up in a hoodie with a denim jacket. “I'll ask Jaehyun what he thinks.”

“That’s the spirit! Tell me how your date goes! Bye!” Before Johnny can sputter out any objections, Mark hangs up. He sighs and walks over to Jaehyun who looks up at him from where he is sitting.

“Two options: we can go home and wait for Mark to do this another night, or we just go now and get this over with.”

“Let’s just do it.” Jaehyun’s cool response is just that, awfully cool. The younger gets up and they begin walking on the forest path, side by side, not saying a word.  
.

They’ve been walking for just under half an hour, and the whole time, Johnny loves it. He loves the cold air hitting his face and the crunch of leaves under his soles. The night sky is clear with small splashes of stars against the sky, and the moon shone like a spotlight all around the forest. Jaehyun’s soft breath next to him is warm and reassuring, and there’s nothing even slightly scary about this whole situation. In fact, Johnny is having the time of his life. He had missed doing things like this with their packed schedules and being at the dorms made it difficult to muster the will to go on walks like these.

It’s easy to lose track of time and so they do, quietly walking next to each other in tandem. They had never outlined any objective and so they aimlessly follow the path until they reach the end which is marked by an old signpost. Johnny turns to look at Jaehyun who looks absurdly beautiful under the moonlight. 

“So, I guess we should go back?”

It takes Jaehyun a minute to answer. “Hm? Yeah I guess.”

Johnny can tell Jaehyun has something on his mind, but he doesn’t push it as they both begin walking back. There are so many things on his mind as well.

They walk not for long before Jaehyun starts to talk.

“Johnny why-“

As fate would have it, Johnny’s flashlight flickers twice and then dies, with Jaehyun’s following shortly thereafter. No amount of smacking them on his palm does the trick and they both curse their luck. The moonlight was strong enough to see the path in front of them, but it didn’t extend its graces far enough to let them see what was in the distance. Johnny sighs and looks at Jaehyun.

“Sorry, I guess I grabbed the old ones.”

“It’s alright.” Jaehyun sounds nervous and Johnny feels even worse now. Making it out of the forest wouldn’t be a problem, but it would probably take them much longer since they hadn’t remembered which paths they took and didn’t bother to look around at any landmarks. He curses Mark in his head.

Jaehyun mumbles something under his breath to which Johnny can’t quite catch.

“What Jae?”

“I said…can you hold my hand. I mean I'm not scared or anything, I just figured that it would make it easier for us to...not get lost.”

Johnny blesses Mark for his existence.  
.

Jaehyun’s hand is warm, but not clammy. They’re slightly smaller than Johnny’s hands and the feeling of his palm pressing against Jaehyun’s is nice. He can feel the outlines of Jaehyun’s fingers, nimble and strong. The small calluses here and there are reassuring to Johnny and he has to fight the urge to run his thumb across them. Johnny thinks the last time he’s held someone’s hand like this was back in Chicago. He thinks about his last girlfriend and how they used to hold hands a lot like this except their fingers would be interlaced. He wonders if Jaehyun would let him do that. 

“What are you thinking about Johnny?”

“How nice your hands are.” Johnny definitely didn’t mean to say that but the soft laugh he gets from Jaehyun makes it worth it. God bless Mark Lee.

“I’m glad you can still be level headed, it makes me feel less worried.” Johnny hums in thanks and the pair fall back into a silence which is only occasionally broken by a question of right or left. Johnny gets lost in his thoughts again. Walking with Jaehyun like this reminded him of all the time they spent together before the legwork for their world tour started. He wants to ask Jaehyun about the things they used to talk about, like his sister and his family, and what he wanted to do once idol life inevitably ceased. He wants Jaehyun to ask him about his hopes and dreams too. “I think we’re getting close to the exit; I remember that weird tree that looked like a hook.”

“Hey Jaehyun?”

“Hm?”

“Weren’t you about to ask me a question earlier at the end of the trail?”

There’s a pause.

“Yeah.”

Johnny squeezes Jaehyun’s hand and smiles his way, albeit a bit teasingly. “So, are you going to keep me waiting or are you going to ask it?”

The pause this time is longer and Johnny is itching to hear what the other has to say. 

“I wanted to ask…why don’t you talk to me much anymore? I thought we would become closer after our show ended, but you haven’t been talking to me at all. At first I guessed it was because you didn’t realize it, but then I figured there was no way you wouldn’t be aware of it because I’m aware of it and-“

“Woah Jae slow down. I thought you were the one who didn’t want to talk to me since you’ve been talking like normal to everyone else.”

They’ve stopped on the trail and Jaehyun is crossing his arms looking at Johnny. Their height difference isn’t much, but it’s enough for Jaehyun to be at almost eye level with him and he can see the hurt evident in his eyes.

“I…don't know. I guess I had assumed that you had grown tired of my company or something like that. I didn't want to bring it up and over complicate things if that wasn't the case.” The other’s voice is firm but gentle at the same time. He can tell that the younger had been thinking about this for a long time, judging by how he was approaching this. He knows Jaehyun must have had a hard time trying to express his affection, they all did. In front of the camera they would often be much more affectionate with each other, but behind the screen, each one of them mostly kept to themselves. Johnny knows that he's also to blame for this and wishes that he had communicated with him earlier. So he begins apologizing in the best way he knows how, by bringing Jaehyun into a soft hug. 

“If I knew you felt that way, I would have said something from the start. You know how sad I was when our show ended, of course it was about the radio part, but a lot of it was spending time with you as well. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care about you. Idiot" 

Jaehyun’s voice comes out muffled between the folds of Johnny’s jacket. “I'm sorry too, I should have come talk to you as well, it takes two to tango. And I'm not an idiot.”

“Of course you aren’t Jae.”

Jaehyun pulls back a little from their hug and looks up at Johnny and Johnny swears he can see the stars in the other’s eyes.

“Jae can I ask you a serious question?”

“I guess?”

“Can I kiss you?” Jaehyun blinks in surprise and Johnny is also a little bewildered by his own brazenness. 

"I...guess?"

Johnny smiles a smile full of warmth and leans forward to Jaehyun who is slowly closing his eyes and plants a soft kiss on the other’s forehead before drawing back. He can’t tell if Jaehyun looks disappointed or relieved.

“That wasn’t what I thought you were going to do.”

“They say I’m full of surprises.”

Jaehyun tilts his head up and gently kisses Johnny on the lips, catching him completely off-guard. A pleasant warmth washes over Johnny as he feels his face heat up while Jaehyun continues pressing his lips to his, and Johnny finally wraps his arms around the other’s waist. The moment is over much too soon and when they both draw back; Johnny is dizzy with happiness. He can feel the tips of his toes buzzing in his shoes. He feels happy.

“Was that okay?” Jaehyun’s voice is much more confident and Johnny revels in the fact that Jaehyun is positively radiant, brilliant even.

“It was super okay. I think this whole fear stuff has got us feeling some kind of way though.”

Jaehyun laughs his signature laugh and Johnny swears he is positively whipped. “So…where do we go from here?”

Johnny takes Jaehyun’s hand in his.

“We start by getting out of this goddamned forest.”  
.

When they get back home, hand in hand, Mark raises an eyebrow. 

“So, I‘m guessing it worked or something?

“Or something.”

**Author's Note:**

> 🥺  
> 👉👈  
> (this is what i'm using my psych degree for lol)  
> (visit me @johnjaesimp and talk johnjae to me)


End file.
